Rock of Ages (2012)
Rock of Ages
Directed by someone I couldn't be bothered to look up...
I want to start off by saying that musicals are not my thing. I think
bursting into songs during average, ordinary, daily tasks like mowing
the lawn is unbelievable, yet I love to watch movies with ugly creatures
from outer space. So who am I to say what is more believable than
something else? What is my thing is rock n’ roll, so I thought I would
give Rock of Ages a fair shot.
While the singing got annoying fast, the movie is surprisingly entertaining between musical numbers. Tom Cruise leads the cast as a larger than life rock icon who is leaving his band to pursue a solo career. His name is Stacee Jaxx and he appears to be a hybrid of Axl Rose and Glenn Danzig. He even has his own monkey sidekick-bartender named Hey Man. His rivals are the Mayor played Bryan Cranston (who seems to be in everything these days!), along with his wife, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones. Cranston as the Mayor looks so much like President George Bush Sr., though his wife is certainly more attractive than Barbara Bush! Though Alec Baldwin’s character Dennis does say she resembles something that Russell Brand’s character popped on his ass! Lonny (Russell Brand) replied back that it cleared up. Those two guys’ characters were my favorite in the whole movie; especially Brand’s who seems to be an assistant manager at The Bourbon Room, where much of the movie takes place.
As for the leads, I wasn’t impressed at all. I’m pretty sure Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta were picked for their “American Idol” sounding voices than any acting talent they may or may not have. I know people are paid to use a technique to touch-up photographs called “air brushing” but I wasn’t aware you were able to do that to a real person. The faces of Julianne and Diego appeared to be air-brushed, or at least looked like plastic Barbie and Ken dolls. It was very distracting. Perhaps that ProActiv solution endorsement for Julianne actually worked!
This movie also appears to support the message that it’s okay to skip out on paying your taxes; it’s rock n’ roll! Just like those movies where a building is on the verge of bankruptcy but they save the day with a car wash, the same thing happens to The Bourbon Room in Rock of Ages. Maybe that’s why the 1980’s really was the “decade of decadence.” I feel Rock of Ages is fine to watch once just to get a laugh at Tom Cruise and Russell Brand but as for revisiting the 1980’s, I’ll stick to my records with the real songs.
Directed by someone I couldn't be bothered to look up...
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| Credit: Warner Bros. |
While the singing got annoying fast, the movie is surprisingly entertaining between musical numbers. Tom Cruise leads the cast as a larger than life rock icon who is leaving his band to pursue a solo career. His name is Stacee Jaxx and he appears to be a hybrid of Axl Rose and Glenn Danzig. He even has his own monkey sidekick-bartender named Hey Man. His rivals are the Mayor played Bryan Cranston (who seems to be in everything these days!), along with his wife, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones. Cranston as the Mayor looks so much like President George Bush Sr., though his wife is certainly more attractive than Barbara Bush! Though Alec Baldwin’s character Dennis does say she resembles something that Russell Brand’s character popped on his ass! Lonny (Russell Brand) replied back that it cleared up. Those two guys’ characters were my favorite in the whole movie; especially Brand’s who seems to be an assistant manager at The Bourbon Room, where much of the movie takes place.
As for the leads, I wasn’t impressed at all. I’m pretty sure Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta were picked for their “American Idol” sounding voices than any acting talent they may or may not have. I know people are paid to use a technique to touch-up photographs called “air brushing” but I wasn’t aware you were able to do that to a real person. The faces of Julianne and Diego appeared to be air-brushed, or at least looked like plastic Barbie and Ken dolls. It was very distracting. Perhaps that ProActiv solution endorsement for Julianne actually worked!
This movie also appears to support the message that it’s okay to skip out on paying your taxes; it’s rock n’ roll! Just like those movies where a building is on the verge of bankruptcy but they save the day with a car wash, the same thing happens to The Bourbon Room in Rock of Ages. Maybe that’s why the 1980’s really was the “decade of decadence.” I feel Rock of Ages is fine to watch once just to get a laugh at Tom Cruise and Russell Brand but as for revisiting the 1980’s, I’ll stick to my records with the real songs.
Thanks for saving me $12, AN-DAY!
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